Please go gentle

I have to write this
I have to tell you
How much you've hurt me
For the million time
You've taken away from me
All of my covers
And now I'm like a naked apple
All that touches me
Leaves a scratch
New knives in old places
No one reaches so deep
As that old wound
But still
I feel everything so much deeper now
As if you've left me naked
And shivering in the rain
And all the raindrops
Are crashing into my skin.
I wish I could close myself up again
And not look for people
Like they could be covers
Where I have only empty mattresses
I crave
I open
But somehow never completely
They just touch a small surface
And quickly leave
And push me away
They don't want to keep me warm in the night
That good night
I've been searching for ages now.
Is there never gonna safe
For me to walk into the rain again
Is there never gonna be a body
Waiting for me to sink
Like there's no tomorrow
Only this cold night
That I wish to be a good night
At least this time
For me too?

Why can't anybody love me
Why doesn't anyone go gentle
Why doesn't anyone like to hold me
Why can't anybody keep me
I have only one wish
Will you grant it this time?
Oh, Lord,
You've been so cruel
So cruel
I have so much hate to hold
So much longing
And so much hate
I have to stop building homes in other people
For they always crash
Before the night comes
And I have to start again the morning
But I've grown tired
You tell me you can't sleep well
When I'm with you
Well, I can't sleep either
For I am not with you
Not really
You're miles away
Just like he was
Just like the moon is
At least she is gonna be on my sky
Forever, every night
And watch me sleep
With a gentle eye
Waiting to close it
Only when my body will finally die.
(I hope it happens soon
I hope a car crashes into my body
And finally destroys all that room
That nobody wants to live in anymore.)