happy birththay, bf.

promised myself i shan't write personal anymore
seemed like i had to live with that decision
and I have.
but today is your birthday
and i wish I could spit you right between the eyes.
because my best friend once told me
we shan't ever not talk anymore
to a point where I couldn't even congratulate him
on this special day.
i'm so mad at you, can't even look at you, leave alone speak
can't believe the way you left
the lies, the cheating. again.
but most of all I can't believe the way
it was so easy for you to ditch me
and not for a second look back
not one word of truth, not one.
it would be a lie if i wished my ex-lover a happy birthday.
but after all
it wouldn't be a lie
if i wished it to my best friend.

Notite XXXX

you cannot remember
what was never important enough
for you to learn.

bad idea

every lover you meet is a phantom

bad ideas you get after too many nights of loneliness

and imagination.

it is that thought that comes to mind

when you look too deeply into eyes

and fall in abyss.

it is more of a hope

that silly thing that comes into your mind

when you put too much of your trust into a promise

someone makes without thinking twice.

for them it is an experience

sensorial, sensual, sexy

you are cool, you’d do for a night of ease.

for you it is the whole range of colors

drugs use to have

you feel like in a trance, falling on a rainbow

solid at first touch.

but in the morning it is nothing but

liquid

the one that falls through your fingers

that can’t be caught anymore

because it is trapped

in a piece of plastic

flushed at the toilet.

to them,

a lover is a good idea

when they get bored, but then forget.

to you,

a lover is the worst possible idea

when you get bored,

because then

you cannot forget.