vineri, 30 decembrie 2016

Decrescent

I wait until all the lights go off
And everyone falls asleep
I wait in front of my cold cup of tea
And long forgotten about it
All these hours that I here forever sit
And look up the window
How the night turns dark
And you'll forget my name
I know it must be so
Some of these days
Until the year is complete
And so the moon in your heart for me
It slowly decreases until there's nothing left
But air, very thin
And then the sun, a replacement
Where, not so long ago,
Only I have been.


A miracle

Let's take the first train out of the city
I say to my friend
"Sure, you do that
And I'm taking the first bus home"
I sigh.
We are smoking two dead cigarettes
Somewhere on a street
In this dead city
Ever so dead these last few days
You sit and say
Only a miracle could make you
Move yourself up from that bench
I say let's go find it
But you think I'm not the right person for it
Your miracle
And that you'd get bored with only me
As if we needed something else
In the cold dead night
Other than two mouths that know each other
And can easily shut up
While we save our heat
To reach the end of this dark
Until the new year comes up.

joi, 29 decembrie 2016

Frozen

I lie on your shoulder
Freezing cold, with two glasses of wine
And not so warm gloves
Your mom is talking with you on the phone
And shouts for a minute
I pull myself closer to you and whisper
'I'm glad you're not like that'
My only normal friend
My only friend.
I reach home with glass
Instead of fingers and toes
I remember how I saw a man
With reindeer horns
As I was walking down the road
It's funny how it doesn't hurt
When you no longer feel nothing at all
I have this frozen body
And warm water that feels too cold
I take a shower that is more like a bath
By the looks of my tub.
You always come in after a while
To ask if anything is wrong
And get closer to check
In case I tell you a lie
One of these days, since you are not here at all
I might never stop that water from running
And turn forever cold.

miercuri, 28 decembrie 2016

Sweater meshes

We have a pointy needle on the wall
And sharp claws at the end of our cat's paws
But them I can't ask you to hammer back in
For unraveling my sweaters' meshes.
We live in a house full of cups and spoons
And a kitchen full of teabags
That plugs our sink's flushing sometimes
But you don't complain
As other people do
Just like you don't complain
When you hear me flush my nose
Or make funny laughs
While I sit all heavy on your belly
Like a pie
Or a cub.
We have a washing machine
All full of laundry
But you sit in front of the TV barefoot
While I tell you how your feet are wet
They wet my Santa socks
As we keep them stuck together
Paws on paws
And I spin my teaspoon
In my cup of tea
But they are just cold, you see.
One of these hours
I'll send you out to buy some bread
The coke you like
And a pack of cigarettes
For you finished mine
While I was asleep
But for now we'll just stick
With the tea
In front of the TV
Turn off the movie on channel three
That's already started
And watch Ice Age from my CD
Until our hungry bellies growl
With discontent.

marți, 27 decembrie 2016

Roasted chicken

There are three types of salad in our fridge
And two cakes
Actually only one
Done in bigger proportions
Because it's the one I like best
Actually the only one I can make.
There are three types of salad in our fridge
And two cakes.
And I'm eating my mother's peanuts
In the cupboard under the desk
But I send you out to buy some chicken
A roasted chicken to eat for lunch
Even though it's already dinnertime.
Charlie and the chocolate factory
Is running in the distance
And I'm wearing my favorite sweater
For three days already
You get up and say
How you don't like
Their British accent
And leave for the  super
That's only open 'til seven.

luni, 26 decembrie 2016

Pear shampoo

I wash my hair
I ask you to boil me
A cup of tea
And I go in the balcony
To hang the washing out.
I hear the cat scratching
Some wooden tiles on the floor
As I sit on the corner of the bed
With one hand holding the dryer
Next to my hair
And with the other writing down
Some words I saved in my phone
You come in to tell me
Tea water is ready
And to put something on
Or I'll catch a cold
You rest a moment
To say my hair smells like pears
You come closer to check
It smells like that indeed, you say
Then go back to your computer games
This is just another ordinary day.

duminică, 25 decembrie 2016

The 25th

It was the 25th.
I left the house after a while
And went out to see my father
Who was alone on Christmas day.
I personally didn't feel like going out
I was getting used to the air in my house
As I always do
After some days of inactivity
Laying down, just laying down
With no wish and no agenda
To wake up or to walk out.
Finally: there I was
Not as cold as I expected
Surely not as crowded
It's funny how the road seems to climb
Like out of a dream
As you leave the old familiar path
Near the block
That suddenly seems strange
Every new year
Every few days
The world is a strange place to me.
No people on the streets
No wind in the air
You feel like floating
And your body is light
On this cold deserted planet
Outside your house.

This is a day I can't hear the cars
And the blocks have sweat
In this purple light
Next to the bus station where I wait
Not sitting on the little bench
Like so many times before
For I already feel relaxed
Like in a sleep, my mind someplace else.
I wonder why are there so little people
Walking their dogs in jackets
(Both them and their pets)
I wonder who is walking who.
I wonder why are there so little cars
Outside on the streets,
And why are they even there at all
Where are they going to
When people are resting behind purple lights
And sweaty blocks
Perhaps even sweaty sheets
But my eye doesn't reach that far
And from out here
It all seems dead all the same
No matter the day, the year
And the hour
This whole scenery repeats.

The loan

I just can't grow any further
My roots are nearing their ends.
So are my flowers
They can offer no more to the world
From whom they borrowed
A short amount of time
Which, up until this day
They haven't honored
With nothing of value.
So now, the hour has come
That I give it back to you -
My time of sorrow.

Leaning

Leaning forward with my head
Pressed over bathroom tiles
I remember how I never feel safe
Except for when I have hot water
Pouring over my soft parts.
I always feel like almost out
Of an embrace
That no human
With their legs crossed over me
Can offer
In my most intimate parts.
I wonder
When will the time come
To not feel that space
That breaks me apart
And to feel warm
Underneath something else than water
To fill my unsure heart.

Touch has a memory

I cannot unsee
What I have seen
I cannot unfeel
What I have felt
This is why I never touched
Out of fear a body
Will leave holes in it
That in absence,
Would kill me whole
Whenever I thought about you
Too much.