marți, 1 august 2017

Wolfsbane

I moan silently in the night
Like a squeaking dog
You ask me what is wrong -
You're too weak, wild cat
Much too weak
If you want to come with me into the cold
Please grow strong
Otherwise I will have to leave you here
When the summer ends
Because I've always been a winter wolf
A lonely wolf
That has to survive.
I am just like you, lonely wolf
Forgive me
But if you want me to be your friend
Into the winter
You will have to tame me
And then be responsible for me
The one you tame
For I am still weak, you see
Much too weak, you say
But you chose me
Now please don't cast me aside
Or I will die
And you will never find
Someone to lick your wounds
When the battle comes
Like I would have.
As weak as you see me
I am a particular creature
That grows stronger than all the others
Through the love of her mate
And the fate
Brought two wolves together
A grown-up and a cub 
To save
Them both.

Notite XII

Pielea transpirată miroase a corcodușe.

Mort tăcut

Pentru o secundă e liniște. Te retragi și te desfaci. Corpul tău e greu. Dar nu îl simt greu. Parcă te-ai topi. Și te țin mereu să nu te împrăștii pe lângă mine. Te strâng tot înăuntru cu mâinile goale. Și mâinile tale sunt căzute. Ghearele noastre sunt obosite de cât au sfâșiat. Lupii cad obosiți din luptă. Își usucă sângele unul peste celălalt. Te mângâi pe părul strâns și ciufulit pe care nu mă lași niciodată altcândva să îl ating. Miroși a iarbă udă. Fiara din mine e fericită. Nu mai e nevoie să o hrănesc. Cu nimic. E momentul din zi când mintea mea tace. Singurul moment. Aproape adormim pentru un minut. Nu sunt ferestre la camera noastră. E un spațiu în toate părțile. Un spațiu care se dilată la nesfârșit. Și corpul tău care mă împinge în jos. Pe pielea mea cresc încet flori. Verzi la început. Apoi violete. Și dureroase. Corpul meu prinde rădăcini în tine. Nu va mai fi niciodată sterp. Sau singur acum. Ne scufundăm în saltea. Și pentru o secundă e liniște.

Home?

Why do I feel like crying everytime you crash into me
It's the best feeling I ever had
And the saddest at the same time
I never had love like that
I never wanted to tell someone this bad
How I wish I could die right now
When he's all wrapped into me
Legs and arms
Heads and hairs
Skins and sweat
And I wake up smiling into the night
Wishing I wouldn't have to wake up at all.
Please don't ever leave
I love you
But you will never know
Our bodies are silent
As they die into the night
With screams
And pain
So much pain
From finally being allowed to move
As if they never knew
They had tears of pleasure too
And not only sadness
In a little place
They call home.

Notite XI

Making love to you
Is like a silent cry
Trapped in the walls
That are waiting for the earthquake
To set them loose.

marți, 25 iulie 2017

the baby pups

Maybe we lasted so long
Because we met in the cold season
Where all bodies craved warmth
And I finally could share my own cold
In an embrace that wouldn't grow bored.
Now all the bodies are melting underneath
And want to be lonely
Sleeping in the sun
Like baby pups
Or cats
Like I told him this morning he looked like
A moaning lazy cat
That wouldn't touch, but bite
And brings me fright
Because he is so much like me
A silent wolf
And so less like him
A stupid dog
That only came into the night.
How can the baby pups
Grow strong into the morning
And learn to make love
With their claws
Still not grown
And bite marks
From a species
Not of their own?

Please go gentle

I have to write this
I have to tell you
How much you've hurt me
For the million time
You've taken away from me
All of my covers
And now I'm like a naked apple
All that touches me
Leaves a scratch
New knives in old places
No one reaches so deep
As that old wound
But still
I feel everything so much deeper now
As if you've left me naked
And shivering in the rain
And all the raindrops
Are crashing into my skin.
I wish I could close myself up again
And not look for people
Like they could be covers
Where I have only empty mattresses
I crave
I open
But somehow never completely
They just touch a small surface
And quickly leave
And push me away
They don't want to keep me warm in the night
That good night
I've been searching for ages now.
Is there never gonna safe
For me to walk into the rain again
Is there never gonna be a body
Waiting for me to sink
Like there's no tomorrow
Only this cold night
That I wish to be a good night
At least this time
For me too?

Why can't anybody love me
Why doesn't anyone go gentle
Why doesn't anyone like to hold me
Why can't anybody keep me
I have only one wish
Will you grant it this time?
Oh, Lord,
You've been so cruel
So cruel
I have so much hate to hold
So much longing
And so much hate
I have to stop building homes in other people
For they always crash
Before the night comes
And I have to start again the morning
But I've grown tired
You tell me you can't sleep well
When I'm with you
Well, I can't sleep either
For I am not with you
Not really
You're miles away
Just like he was
Just like the moon is
At least she is gonna be on my sky
Forever, every night
And watch me sleep
With a gentle eye
Waiting to close it
Only when my body will finally die.
(I hope it happens soon
I hope a car crashes into my body
And finally destroy all that room
That nobody wants to live in anymore.)

sâmbătă, 22 iulie 2017

Notite X

Trebuie să pun pământul înapoi la florile care au căzut.

The cast

You told me how you took out your knife
And carved out your way through the bandages
That were healing you
Because you couldn't stand being trapped.
Now you have a broken finger
And a crooked hand
But you are free in the end
You were always free
Thank you for taking me
With you.

Bliss

People are so beautiful
The way they smile when you kiss them
They look like babies.

Your hair turns perfectly blonde then
Your skin red
And your eyelashes stick together
Only to open
With big staring eyes
To check like a newborn
I swear
In that moment
You are ageless
You look blessed
You're out of this time
You're pure light
And you're sinking into mine.