Black sweat

I get home
And i smudge my lipstick in the mirror of the elevator
My lipstick smells like blood
You know that rust and blackening crust that is placed on the iron
The same is deepening in the skin of my face
I don't know when this started
I get home
Smelling of so many things
As if my body disintegrates during the day
Up to the point I can't stand myself
And I have to wash it away ten times
Before going to bed, even if it takes an hour
Or more
I get home
But I don't get to bed
Until I feel safe.

(Septembrie 2019)