joi, 7 septembrie 2017

The one that got away

(or another failed experiment)

Our eyes meet across the street before our bodies do
You say hello, I say hello to you
A quick handshake where we both wished it could be more
But it's only a first date, you don't wish to rush things
And my eyes lower down as my heart stings
I already know what I want, but what he wants I couldn't say
I wish I could just run away
But my legs won't move, and they beg to stay.
The days go by, and we meet again
Every time the same feeling in my chest
Wishing he wouldn't see me as a friend
But his long embraces tell me something else
And my response is always tense.
When he first kissed me it was already our sixth date
I was already counting days and couldn't wait
There were coincidences in every gesture we would make
The places we would put our hands in the bus
Or the sandals we'd wear on the same day
The place our heads would rest in movie theaters seats
And the legs we'd touch by mistake and quickly apologize with a shake
I never thought I could shake so much at the sight of a boy
And it was almost as if I didn't have a choice
When your head leaned spontaneously on the bench
And grabbed my head to kiss me
Just after our first long embrace.
Before we first made love I already thought it was fate
That brought such similar souls together
And decided not to let my happiness wait.
So I rushed in and felt so safe
You took care that I didn't hit my head in your small bed
And smiled happily that I liked your room
Lighted only by one bulb that was red.
There was music on the background, you put in your favorite band
And grabbed me in your arms where I wished I could forever stand.
So what happened, must I ask?
You never gave me an answer until the end
I, who was counting days, never knew when
You thought I wasn't what you wanted
And left me, with a heart broken in ten.
How is it that you do that?
What magic classes do you attend
To make it look so simple and give no meaning to it?
Is it the rule of this game you're all playing?
That once you conquer a territory,
It suddenly becomes ordinary
And leave without a notice, telling your new land
You don't understand how it got so involved
It was all just a game, and once a player wins
The credits roll "the end".
I wish you wouldn't invade me like a piece of dirt
And you the foreign army that comes to occupate this earth
That once you put your hand on
You decide you have to leave for a new country
For this one has ran out of gold.
I'm not a country, I'm a nation that you cross
I'm a whole living being, and not an object that you toss
You worship, you conquer and you take
But when you desert me, it is my heart  you break.
Please do not come if you are going away
Don't sing me a national anthem
And promise to lean at my feet and pray
My home is no palace, I'm a simple woman
And when I say "I love you" I know that I intend to stay.

(For R.)

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